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Joined on 7/24/07
i read your post on the AP lounge. I guess more or less I'm in (or was) the same predicament. I started off as a business major (which I was enrolled in by accident) and disliked it. Dropped out my second semester, and thought I would study in a more liberal arts oriented field and possibly minor in a non-performance music degree.
So, while I have to yet officially declare a music major, I had pretty much gotten most of my core classes out of the way, and to be a full time student, 80%+ of my classes were music involved. I had all the required classes in my schedule, music ensembles, private lessons (both for guitar and piano), theory, and even some music history classes. They have been enjoyable, challenging, and did a pretty good job at making my brain bruise and swell. I've expanded my music knowledge possibly to an exponential level. And what was my original intentions in garnering all this bullshit for? So I would be able to produce music that I thought was at a greater level.
I personally think my best, most original musical ideas came in early-mid 2008- despite being far less knowledgeable in all aspects of music at that point. The fact that I had studied a bunch, was overall more well-rounded, but still lacked in creativity frustrated me to the point where I would be depressed (not serious, though) for months. I had nothing to prove for what I'd done, all my work and continued persistence for little made me feel ashamed. I felt (and still do) bad that if I'm not practicing almost every waking hour, it's entirely my fault for not going to the level that I think qualifies as success in my mind. If I go to sleep at night without accomplishing my days goals (I usually dont) I'm a piece of shit. Fuck, yet hear I am writing on your newspost, procrastinating. THen I'll probably play DOOM for a good minute, eat lunch/dinner and then finally start on my boatload of homework later.
The more music classes I complete, the more my desire to get a degree in music diminishes. I've pretty much came to the decision right now, that I don't want to get a degree in music at all. I want to pursue study in a field related to medical or biological science, which is completely at the opposite end of the education spectrum. I'm going to have to retake math (starting from the most elementary concepts because I've forgotten EVERYTHING) classes and more "hard" science related shit, obviously meaning several more years of college. Which I'm fine with but I'm also coming to the realization that my financial situation may not always be devoid of problems, especially with the economy standing right in front of the headlights of an oncoming train.
When people say "LOLZ I LOVE MUSIC I WOULD DIE WITHOUT IT" (by the way, this isnt meant to be in response to your blurb nor mocking the people that say it, I'm just jealous haha, if thats even the right word to use) I don't understand them because either 1.) I don't truly know what the emotion "love" is 2.) I obviously dont "love" music myself, and I think it's kind of a stupid thing to say as it's just an insipid blend of waves and vibrations that somehow might manage to sound good together, sometimes used as a playground for people to verbally masturbate over. My guitar teacher says music starts off as trying to understand music, then trying to understand the universe, then trying to understand yourself. I'm still stuck on stop number one. So I feel even more like a faggot for taking music classes when I really dont "love" them.
Back to the main matter at hand- writers block. We all have them, we all read up on suggestions, from trying out new styles to obtaining new sounds to experiment with. Excuse me if I'm stating the obvious, but the truth of the matter is; all any creative slump is is just a stage not when you actually CANT write, but you dont APPRECIATE what you write. it's the same exact thing if you were to eat your favorite food every day, it would start tasting bland after a while. But if you were placed in poverty, and food was scarce, leftover scraps from a trash bin would be a freakin' delicacy. So you could try taking a break from making music, and not attempt to open FL studio, play your guitar, or whatever until the gratitude truly comes back.
This summer, I did exactly just that. I went on vacation for a few weeks and ejected myself from the world of music. When I came back, I was thankful to have the opportunity to play music again, but that inspiration quickly faded. I had school in a few weeks, and was only halfway through my goals that I set for myself over the summer. At that point I stopped practicing and pretty much relinquished my last hopes of continuing music at a collegiate level (and even music itself, but pacts like that are retarded and never fulfilled). I didn't sign up for private lessons at school but all my classes this semester are music related. With all that degree baloney behind my back, I feel much more liberated. My gratitude for music is slowly coming back. The goal for me here is to be at the same state I was when I FIRST started making music, how just playing a few notes on a distorted guitar sounded like magic. Like I'm a wide eyed kindergartner thinking the world is straight from a Disney film...WEll shit. Hopefully the notes will start "speaking" to me again, instead of seeing it as some technical bullshit and a bunch of scales and chords. But this time, my newly acquired technical bullshit would help me bring my music to a greater level. If my desire to make music comes back, then maybe it's programmed inside me and that's what love for music really entails. If not, then so be it, hopefully I'll move on to different things. That's some temporary solace for me, I hope it may be for you as well. But I'll probably feel like shit once again in a month, week, or day later lol. That's just the way she goes.
so sorry if none of this is helpful, inspiring, would hate to use your page for my emotional outlet, but at the least maybe you'll find this a bit entertaining ^_^ asian face.
howve you been otherwise? Good luck with what ever you do.
Holy shit. I don't even know how to respond to this, man. It's like...overwhelming, but in a good way.
You've basically summed up how I feel. The problem is that it's my father who is paying for school. He wasn't too happy about the major change, and I know he'd go ballistic if I tell him I want to change majors again, not to mention that I'm way behind in college. I lost a full year of credits, so I'll be in school for longer than I expected.
Geez, I don't think I can give you a proper response for this. Please know, however, that I absolutely appreciate every single word you typed and that I wasn't expecting this from you. I relate a lot to it.
Thank you very much.
Very interesting thoughts.
I learned my instruments until I was 20 (piano and guitar afterwards) and I always had my own mind and world in terms of music. When I'm sitting and playing around I release myself from all "active" influences and plunge into my own world of music. It's less frequently now but I still can do it.
Sometimes I really think that it's better for some people to know less about music than more.
For example I study electrical engineering which has, apart from the theory of sonic waves, nothing to do with music.
Through that I can sort of maintain my world of music. Of course you get better and more "professional" if you really move on and there are shitload of influence out there.
But I'd just learn the things about music theory to describe what I play^^.
I know that all this is very narrow minded.
That I talk about professionalism is like a joke^^.
Dudinum (lol your username is almost a segment of a colon)- well my post wasn't really a debate on the philosophical sides of the importance of music theory. But if we're going in that direction...
"Sometimes I really think that it's better for some people to know less about music than more."
That statement has some merit. First of all, theory never makes you a good musician, but it always makes you a better musician. Some are just blessed or develop a natural talent and sensibility for music and develop their own in introspective, possibly non-intellectual "theory" of their own that helps them develop music. It may come to a point where the main purpose of knowing theory (as what's commonly taught) is the ability to interpret and communicate music to others on a more universal level.
I used to think that knowing logical ways of how music worked took the magic out of it. If you know how a magic trick works, then it's no longer magic anymore, is it? Sometimes ignorance can be bliss.
And of course, there's always the "danger" of your musical tastes becoming more sophisticated than what you can actually produce, and you stop making music because of this altogether.
But I would refute these three points:
1. Combine a creative, poetic understanding of music with technical knowledge and your musical abilities will increase immensely, regardless of how good you may already be. You'll be able to take things in faster, and there's not enough time in a lifespan to reach your potential as a musician (which already has no limits). But you'll be able to get closer. And since music is already a very collaborative field, having a common understanding will become essential.
2. Music is much more than just naming chords and learning scales. That's just fundamentals. And the more you learn, more worlds to explore open up. And there's now more magic to try and understand than before!
3. Even with a more sophisticated knowledge, even the most simple things can become more enjoyable. This is probably why instrument teachers with advanced music degrees can still take joy in hearing young children play simple melodies. If you may not be technically talented at what you do, you can still appreciate the simplicity of it. The more simple a piece is, the more musicality you can infuse into it. And at the same time, you realize you still suck, and want to improve closer to reaching the level of sophistication you have in mind.
I just noticed the shirtless guy in the background of your profile picture thing.
That entertainment enough for you?
i hope you are still making music, and i hope everything is going good for you. i dont know if or when you will see this, im on a nostalgia trip, its amazing how quickly time passes. i wonder if you remember me at all. i think back and feel really really bad for failing to do any of the things i planned, i gave up so easy. anyway, i hope you have found more success than i have.
*attempts to entertain GronmonSE*